American Horror Story: Coven Episode 2 Recap/Review
This episode is cutely titled “Boy Parts.” Kids learning the differences between boys and gals. We open up in a gator-infested swamp where two poachers are doing some hunting. After killing a gator they return to their camp to find an unexpected guest: Misty Day! Enraged from the acts of killing they have committed, she brings back the gators from Gator Heaven and they exact their revenge by eating their hunters. Misty ventures towards the swamp and admires the scenery (How is she still alive?).
Back at the Academy, Cordelia calls the witches together for Morning Gathering. Despite this being a mansion with only four students, they still share rooms. Fiona is called as well but has some interrogating to do before heading out. She is keeping the Madame tied up and hidden in her room. After the Madam’s failed attempt to scream for help (earning in a bitchslap from the Supreme!), it was a quick questioning resulting in the Madame informing her of Marie Laveau’s deception.
Precious is working at a chicken joint and is dealing with an angry customer.He claims that he is missing a piece of chicken from his order. She retorts that he did have a full order and is just trying to get free chicken. He insults her and demands to speak to her manager. She simply replies that she is the manager and dunking her arm is scorching-hot oil. Instead of her arm burning, its his.
-Back to 2013-
Queenie explains that she is heir to Tituba, a house slave and the first to be accused as a witch in the Salem Witch Trials. Amid the Gathering, it’s interrupted by the arrival of two detectives investigating the death of the frat boys. Including the one Zoe visited at the hospital that died in the same manner as her boyfriend. Under the pressure and guilt, Zoe breaks down and confesses to everything. The girls are sent to their rooms while Fiona uses Jedi mind tricks to have the detectives forget the girls and surrender all evidence they have on them. Back in the room, Madison is chiding Zoe for breaking down. Having dealt with the officers, Fiona barges into the room and uses the Force and sends the girls hurling against the wall. She scolds Zoe for being weak and informs them both that the only person they have to fear is she.
To make amends for killing Zoe’s crush, Madison decides to bring Kyle back to life. They take a trip to
Build-A-Bear the morgue to locate his body only to find that all the boys had they limbs completely torn off (Isn’t that a little extreme for a bus flipping over? Maybe a missing digit or two, or a hand, would be OK to get away with. But all appendages and heads removed from their bodies? Too much.). Before bringing Kyle back, they need to assemble him. Madison picks out the very best Boy Parts she sees and presses on to create Zoe’s new Ken doll.
Cordelia is having some fertility issues and is unable to get pregnant. Her doctor says there are other options but she is set on having a baby of her own.
-New Orleans 1834-
The Madame wakes up hours after her poising to find a lynch mob waiting outside her estate. The mob is led by none other than the Queen of Voodoo herself, Marie Laveau. They have killed Madame LaLaurie’s entire family and hung them from the second floor balcony (The nearby trees were too tall.). Marie then explains that it was not poison she had consumed, but the curse of immortality. As punishment for her acts of horror against her slaves and her lover, she is to never meet her loved ones in the afterlife, never be given the gift of death (I wouldn’t mind this part too much), and live for the rest of eternity alone in an unmarked grave (I’d definitely mind this part.). They tie her up and put her in the grave Fiona later finds her in.
-Back to 2013-
(This show is seeing more time traveling than an episode of Doctor Who!)
After gathering the necessary items and preparing the somewhat new and maybe improved Kyle, Madison and Zoe get ready to cast a resurrection spell. With dramatic effects (including random lightning and fog machine), the girls cast the spell and…nothing happens. Believing that the spell didn’t work, Madison proceeds to exit the morgue while Zoe lingers behind to say good bye. As Madison waits, she spots someone arrive at the facility and bails leaving Zoe behind (Bitch!). Having heard someone come in, Zoe makes a poor attempt to hide. The individual spots her but before he can do anything, Kyle awakens (Huzza!) and proceeds to beat the man into unconsciousness. We get a quick shot of Misty clearly feeling the magic from her location.
Hogwarts the Academy, Nan has grown irritated by the Madame’s muffled cries for help and unties her. She commands the old socialite to leave. On her wait out she encounters Queenie and clubs her in the back of the head with a candle stick (It wasn’t Colonel Mustard after all!) leaving her unconscious.
Fiona seeks the Voodoo Queen at her place of business, a very ghetto hair salon. After all these years, the best she can do is own a coop of a hair salon. While Marie (Who is still as young as she was in 1834.) starts providing the hair services Fiona is not there for, they begin to mock one another. They slander each other’s heritage and origins of power with more sass than two drag queens arguing over which one is more sickening. Eventually they reach the point of Fiona’s visit. The Supreme demands for immortality and the Voodoo Queen simply laughs in her face and tells her to leave. But not before Fiona gets the last word and sets some weaves on fire.
Cordelia is once more hard at work in her herbal office, prepping the necessary ingredients for a spell (Two spells, one episode. Oh my!). She performs a fertility spell with her husband that includes ostrich eggs, candles, an incantation, and a giant pentagram on the ground (Pentagram? Candles? Real witches must be tired of this stereotype.). She commences the spell and they start experiencing extreme lust for one another which transforms into one extremely intense and tantric session of sex (Ooh-la-la!). If she doesn’t end up pregnant after this, it’s just not going to happen.
Zoe escapes the morgue in what I’m assuming is the unconscious person’s car. She tries to explain to Kyle about his death and resurrection. He throws an bit of a tantrum and starts to thrash against the passenger door. Misty suddenly pops up from the back seat causing Zoe to almost swerve into oncoming traffic. After a short discussion of the situation Misty convinces Zoe to take the trio back to her shack. Once there, she proceeds to heal Kyle’s sutures with mud from the mystical swamp while introducing Zoe to Fleetwood Mac. According to her, Stevie Nicks is the “great white witch.” If that exists. Zoe says her farewells for the evening and leaves behind a confused Kyle with the hippie witch Misty (Who has the power of resurgence, FYI.).
At the hair salon, we see that Marie has the Minotaur in her custody. She unshackles him while telling him they have business to take care of.
Fiona finds the Madame sitting outside her once grand home. She is dismayed at seeing it turned into a Museum of Horrors and recounts the love she felt for her children (And the plot she had to murder her husband.). Fiona gives her zero fucks (Same goes for everyone I’m sure.). She asks the Supreme if she’s a witch, and if so, if she’s able to kill her. Fiona says she’d find a way if she needs to but if she ran away again, she’ll throw back into her unmarked grave. They then head back to the Academy. Or the bar.
Total death count in this episode: 6. It’d be 7 if the individual at the morgue were killed. Looked more as though he was simply KOed.