American Horror Story: Coven Episode 4 Recap/Review

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So much to cover in this recap! Let’s hit the main events and mention the little ones. This episode is “Fearful Pranks Ensue.” Sounds promising. Let’s see what goes on! We open to an African American boy riding his bicycle in a quaint suburban neighborhood. It’s 1961 and the location is, of course, New Orleans. He rides along when a car starts to speed up behind him. The boy swerves off the road into a fenced in alley (Not sure how the driver didn’t run him over since it is a child on a bike). He reaches the end of the enclosure as the 3 Caucasian males exit the vehicle and close in on the boy. Meanwhile at Marie’s hair salon, one of her hairstylists speaks about her son’s first day at the newly integrated high school. Many are uneasy at the news but she firmly believes in the change. Suddenly in black-and-white mode, the police have just cut down the lynched body of the boy. The mother is in hysterics and Marie is angry. She casts a spell that night that summons the dead from their graves. Voodoo zombies! She has them track down the killers in a barn and they proceed to turn this into an episode of The Walking Dead (But this time the zombies are the good guys).

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Pictured above: Creator of The Walking Dead

-Cue in the creepy intro!-

Someone with in desperate need of a manicure is playing tea party with a group of creepy dolls. It’s Spalding! He continues to play just as any little girl would until something disrupts his party. There’s noise coming from below (His room is in the attic). He goes to investigate only to witness Fiona kill Madison. Fiona explains why she did it while Spalding beings to roll up Madison’s corpse in the rug. He pours Fiona a drink and they have a one-sided small talk. They hear glass break and Fiona decides to investigate leaving him to dispose of Madison. She walks into the greenhouse to find Queenie on the ground. Queenie says she couldn’t stop “it.” Right as Fiona asks, we see the silhouette of the Minotaur rise from behind her.

Fiona awakens Cordelia and has her tend to Queenie. While explaining the situation, they go back and forth blaming each other for the attack. They simply conclude that Marie was the sender of the creature. Queenie suddenly stops breathing. Fiona revives her using witchcraft-certified CPR by simply blowing into her mouth. Cordelia wants to take Queenie to the hospital but Fiona is against it. She doesn’t want to draw the attention of the Council. Fiona goes to her room to find Delphine hiding in her closet. She explains that the Queen of Voodoo sent the creature for her. Fiona says she knows but no one else is to know. She also assures her that the monster will not be returning.

The following day, Marie is working at her salon and finishing up a customer when a package arrives. She has one of the stylists open it only to find a gruesome discovery. Marie looks into the box and finds Gwyneth Paltro’s head (OK, the Minotaur’s head) and it’s very much still alive.

Later that evening, a blood-soaked Kyle is repeatedly banging his head on the bathtub. Zoe says “Kyle! No!” as she approaches him (Did she spend the night?). He looks at her and simply says “Kyle? No.” (Not sure if saying he’s not Kyle or simply repeating what she said). She reaches for a small wash cloth and dabs his face as an attempt to remove some of the blood (Obviously, a simple shower wouldn’t be of much help). She apologizes for all that has happened and begins to cry. He reaches to wipe away a tear but she pulls back and rises. She decides that he must be hungry and goes into to kitchen. While making tuna salad, she discovers rat poison in a cupboard and reaches for it. She returns to the bathroom with the bowl of (assuming) poisoned tuna salad only to find it vacant. Kyle is gone! She looks around the bathroom and heads to the front porch. She looks around the immediate neighborhood and sees that trick-or-treating has begun. Kyle is no where to be seen. But why venture into the street to look for him? Clearly you can find a confused person who just committed murder from the porch.

Fiona is dressing up for the evening. Delphine zips up her dress and compliments her on her beauty. She then explains how the end of the harvest was celebrated back in her day. Fiona explains to her how it’s celebrated these days and finishes up costume by donning a witch’s hat. She turns to the mirror and rhetorically asks, “Who’s the baddest witch in town?”

Marie is vigorously setting up a spell while Chantal (Dana Gourrier, the hairstylist that opened the box) is trying to convince her to stop. She reminds of the treaty she struck with the witch Anna-Lee (Judging by Marie’s awesome fro in the flashback, I’d say it was in the 70s) in which each side had their territory and neither group crossed the other. Marie proclaims that the treaty is over and will not wait for death.

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“This is how you play Voodoo Hopscotch!”

Cordelia is on the phone with her husband, Hank (Josh Hamilton), who is in Baton Rouge on business. He ends the call for a meeting with contractors, in his hotel room. He opens the door and welcomes a beautiful redhead named Kaylee (Alexandra Breckenridge). They have rough and intense sexing. During their pillow talk, she talks about how she loves Halloween because it gives people the opportunity to be who they want to be. He looks at her intrigued and says he was himself the previous year, a monster (The rest of the year was spent being a cheating husband).

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Trick-or-treat!

Queenie is still in bed and is being attended to by Cordelia and Delphine. She has finally woken up! Delphine thanks her for what she has done while Cordelia gets her a towel. Nan announces (In a non-Poltergeist way) “They’re here.” Cordelia assumes the ‘they’ to be Madison and Zoe (Seriously? They’ve been gone for about 24 hours now!), but Nan says it’s not the girls. The redhead from the first episode is seen using the force to open the main gates. She and her two companions head inside. Cordelia heads down to find the trio in the room where everything seems to take place, the Ancestor Room. She identifies them as the Council. Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy), Quentin (Leslie Jordan), and Cecil Pimbrooke (Robin Bartlett). Cordelia assumes she knows why they’re there and proceeds to spill the beans on everything. From Queenie’s attack to her visit to the Voodoo Queen. Luckily Fiona walks in just in time to keep Cordelia from saying anything else. She greets each member individually (From sarcasm to backhanded compliments) and asks for the reason behind their visit. They inform her that they were summoned by one of the students. Nan makes her appearance and states that she can’t hear Madison anymore, that she must be dead.

We see Spalding finishing up the touches to his scarecrow (And gives it a big bear hug! Awww!) Meanwhile the Council begins their investigation into the disappearance of Madison. They begin with Cordelia and make note that she keeps losing track of her students. Zoe simply tells them that Madison has ‘that thing’ since she’s a movie star (Helpful as always Zoe). Followed Queenie’s account of Madison being sexually active and a hot mess. After further questioning each of the witches, (In the middle of which Cordelia finally notices that her rug is missing) Nan mentions to them the incident with the burning of the curtains. Surprised at the news, they ask who else knew of this.

Back at Hank’s hotel room, he and Kaylee are having a meal from contents purchased in a vending machine. After small chit chat and her confession of how she really likes him, he stand behind her, pulls out a gun (complete with silencer), and shoots her in the head (through the cheek to be precise).

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It’s super effective!

Back at the Academy, the Council is now speaking to Fiona. Myrtle is attacking Fiona with all her irresponsible actions and failures to comply with her duties as Supreme. Fiona simply remains sassy and sarcastic through it all. Myrtle makes a point that twice witches have disappeared from the Coven and in both occasions, she was the last one to see them.

-Miss Robichaux’s Academy, 1971-

A young Fiona is being interviewed by the then Council in regards to Anna-Lee’s disappearance. She says that Anna-Lee took a fine bottle of wine as a final peace offering. The Council immediately believe it may have something to do with Marie Laveau since Anna-Lee had recently met with her. After this meet, they gather with the rest of the Academy and announce Fiona as Supreme-elect. A young Myrtle Snow (Michelle Page) is angry and resents the fact that Fiona is getting away with murder. Myrtle claims that she is the guardian of “the truth and vernacular” and knows when a lie is being told. We later see her casting a truth spell. Much later, the Academy is gathered at a dinner where she explains to her friend that the Council will have a close session with Spaulding in the morning. If Fiona has done anything wrong, he will know and will have no choice but to tell the truth. She says it’s so because she has enchanted his tongue to speak the truth. That night, Spaulding is found in the bathroom floor with his tongue severed off. Myrtle sees Fiona and immediately suspects her of committing this crime.

-Present Day-

Myrtle tells Fiona that it is time for her to pay for all of her crimes. She also says, “I’ve got a book of matches in my pocket, Fiona, and I’m just dying to light this fire.” She then calls to Spaulding and asks him to write down the name of the witch who is responsible for the dismemberment he experienced so long ago. He proceeds to scribble down who he is voting off the island and hands the note to Myrtle. It’s her name her wrote down.

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“Is this your final answer?”

-Back in 1971-

Spaulding is in the dining hall tending to the table and hears what Myrtle has done to his tongue. That night, he meets with Fiona in the bathroom to say his final words. He says he loves her and proceeds to cut his tongue with Sweeney Todd’s blade.

-Present Day-

Myrtle loses her shit and starts accusing Fiona of murdering Anna-Lee and Madison. Because she knew that Madison was to be the next Supreme. Cordelia then steps in and informs them all of Madison’s heart condition and bad health. A growing Supreme has glowing, radiant health. For these reasons, she was not the next Supreme.

Trick-or-treating goes on around town and Marie’s establishment. Chantal closes shop and heads to the back where Marie is casting a spell. She is once more rising the dead from their resting places and turning this episode into Thriller!

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There’s a lot of snake killing in Voodoo.

Delphine is passing out candy while the Nan is setting up a small altar for Madison. Zoe is in denial about Madison’s death. Nan once more explains that she can’t hear her, therefore, she must have been killed. Queenie suggests that Madison may have possibly found a way to keep Nan out.

Spaulding is once more enjoying a quiet tea party. He dresses himself as an infant. He finds a lovely gown in his closet and brings it over to Madison’s corpse!

Cordelia and Fiona are at a bar enjoying some mother/daughter bonding. Cordelia suggests they play Truth or Truth, where they are each allowed to ask 3 questions in a row and Fiona agrees. Cordelia asks her why she doesn’t like her husband. Fiona says he reeks of bullshit. Cordelia asks, and reminds her not to lie, if she killed Madison. Fiona says no and immediately asks who Cordelia believes is the next Supreme (For her knife is just itching to meet another neck). Cordelia reminds her that it’s still her turn in the game and asks her why is she obsessed with this topic. She also asks if she feels herself weakening. Fiona doesn’t reply and Cordelia laughs while telling the bartender to keep the drinks coming. Speaking of weak, the next shot is of Cordelia returning her drinks to the establishment via toilet. Once finished, she goes to wash her hands when a mysterious hooded figure from Night Vale appears and flings acid in her face.

Delphine is still passing out candy when the Academy receives a visit from the very attractive neighbor, Luke. He has brought a thank you gift of cookies for Nan. He really enjoyed that cake. There is someone pounding on the door. Delphine grabs the bowl of candy and opens the door expecting to see trick-or-treaters. Instead, there are 3 zombie girls at the door and recognizes one of them as her daughter. She drops the bowl and immediately closes the door. Zombies have taken over the front lawn. Bust out your Peashooters!

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“‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night!”

 

Total death count: 5! Minotaur was technically still alive.

Also, there has been no “teaching” of any sort at this school. No wonder all the students are at Hogwarts!