American Horror Story: Coven Episode 7 Recap/Review


Episode 7 is here! Which means that this season’s end is quickly approaching. Truths will be revealed. The weak become strong and the strong become weak. This chapter is titled “The Dead.” Speaking of which, Kyle and his frat brothers are at a tattoo parlor getting, of course, tattoos. Kyle chooses not to partake but jams out to Toto instead (Does anyone play this music in a tattoo parlor?). One guy gets a kanji tattoo that he claims to mean “beginning and end.” The other is getting a four leaf clover (He is not Irish). His frat bros make fun of Kyle and question his reasons for not wanting to get a tattoo. His excuse is that his mom wouldn’t like it (I doubt that very much). But he then explains that he wants to be an engineer and wants to be taken seriously in the business world (As a tattooed individual I am a bit offended by this, but like his frat bros, I understand his reasons). They continue to joke around and make fun of each other.

-Preset Day-

The now reanimated Kyle is examining his new and unwanted tattoos. Which coincidentally happen to be the four leaf clover on the arm and the kanji on his leg (I don’t recall seeing them in previous episodes). He begins to incoherently mumble and scream while probably wishing for a tattoo removal procedure. In walks Zoe looking a bit unsure and terrified while hiding a gun behind her back (She found it among Madison’s personal effects in the previous episode).


“This tattoo means ‘Momma’s Boy’!”


-Cue in the creepy intro!-

Madison is lifelessly smoking away in the Academy and delivering a narrative monologue about being a millennial. How the members of her generation are narcissistic and feel entitled to everything (explains my siblings to the T), yet are numb to the world around them. She goes on to show and explain how she is unable to feel anything at all. She consumes various foods, potion ingredients, and miscellaneous chemicals that don’t aid her despair. Although she did believe that a fluid in Cordelia’s workplace might have made her nipples tingle. She manages to stop looking like Marilyn Manson (her words) and has some color now. Despite this, nothings helps her feel again.

Zoe is set to kill the chained up Kyle because they both know it has to be done. Except, she shows him the gun which terrifies him. She explains that she doesn’t understand her power and knows he’s a great guy, but he has killed. She kneels before him and claims that there is only one way for all this to end. Before she does anything, he reaches for the gun and manages to easily take it away from her (smh). She is scarred and backs off as he studies the gun. He decides to kill himself (the job takes care of itself). Right as he aims the gun at his head, Zoe intervenes the suicide and keeps him from shooting himself (And no one hears this!). She casts the gun aside and claims that she doesn’t want him to die (Make up your mind!). They both begin to cry.


“So, uh, no hard feelings.”

Precious is scavenging through the kitchen and is annoyed at finding nothing to eat. Delphine is woken up by her bustling and enters the kitchen. Both characters are hungry and have no food available for munching thanks to Madison. Queenie decides it’s time for a ride. She takes Delphine for a late meal at a local fast food joint. They go through the drive thru and enjoy their super-sized meal in the parking lot. The Madame is awe-struck at the delicious food she is consuming and claims it to be the best she’s ever had. She understands why Queenie is so big. Queenie is of course offended but Delphine says she did not mean to offend. This century continues to amaze her. Queenie is simply amazed that she moved her life from Detroit to New Orleans to be with her sister witches. Only to find herself in a parking lot eating fast food with an immortal racist. Delphine then remarks that the other girls will never see her as a sister because she is black.

Cordelia receives a phone call and somehow manages to knock everything down as she reaches for the phone. It’s Hank. He claims to miss her and wants to come home. She tells him to go to sleep and hangs up. He eerily says “See you soon” and hangs up as well. The camera zooms out to reveal his witch-hunting gun collection. Cordelia wanders through the Academy calling for Delphine. She is about to fall down the stairs but Madison stops her from doing soon. In that physical contact, Cordelia has a vision and sees Fiona murdering Madison.

Axeman takes Fiona back to his place (When did he get the time to get a place?) and continues wooing her. It’s a dingy apartment with poor lighting. They sit down, have a drink, and continue to flirt. After a few minutes of this, she excuses herself and heads to the restroom. It’s equally as dingy as the rest of the apartment and has a cockroach in the sink. She freshens herself up and pulls out some more hair. Panicked, she casts it aside and heads back out. The camera gives us a birds-eye view of the room to reveal the apartment’s true tenant dead in the tub. They continue to drink and flirt. During their kiss, Fiona once more pulls some hair out and panics and attempts to leave (Any other woman with this condition would have never gone to the apartment in the first place!). He stops her and claims this not to be a one night stand, but something more fateful. She is trying to resist by claiming how terrible of a person she is. But he simply continues to smooth talk her into staying. He explains how sensually he plays his saxophone using his fingers and mouth (Ugh, gross!). She is completely swooned and they proceed to sexy time. All the while his music playing goes on in the background. She hits the big O and pops a few light bulbs in the apartment.


He taught President Clinton all of his moves.

Zoe has unchained Kyle in her room and attempts to help him communicate, with flashcards. He is says ‘food’ pretty well but gets mad when she pulls out the ‘bed’ card. She slaps the cards out of her hand and calls himself stupid. Zoe tell him he is not. He has a spoonful of the food that was brought for him and immediately throws the bowl on the ground. He throws a tantrum and in walks Madison. She asks who the guy is. Zoe reminds her that it’s Kyle. Madison tells Zoe that Cordelia wants to speak to her and to not worry about Kyle, she’ll take care of him. Zoe takes her leave and Madison approaches Kyle. She attempts to bond with him about dying and what it was like to be dead. He sympathizes and they hug it out (awww).

Marie Laveau is at her shop preparing gumbo and has a visit from Queenie. Marie invites her in and asks what took her so long to visit. They chat about gumbo, the witches, Delphine, and Queenie’s rightful place with her. Marie tells her that if she wishes to join them, all she needs to do is hand over Delphine. Queenie isn’t sure about doing so. Marie uses the fact that Queenie is simply second best there to try and persuade her to switch. After all, “Voodoo doll belong in the house of Voodoo.” Once she is with them, she will be strong and well protected. Queenie wonders what will happen to Delphine if she hands her over. Marie simply tells her not to worry and to just head on home before it gets dark.


“Let’s make this more about racism and less about your lame power.”

Cordelia is extremely clumsy as a blind individual. She swings her white cane wildly around as she walks. She also spills the tea she is pouring for herself. All the while Zoe sits and converses with her in regards to Cordelia’s new power and the Axeman’s spirit being sent away (Oh if only they knew!). Cordelia commends Zoe for her growing power as she pours liquor from her flask into her tea. She slides the flask to Zoe. She informs her that it’s possible that Zoe may be the next Supreme but Fiona is not to know. The last time Fiona suspected someone of being the next Supreme, she murdered them. Zoe is shocked at the revelation and takes the flask. Cordelia explains that Fiona is fading fast and will do anything to survive. She proposes they kill her mother once and for all.

After the meeting with Cordelia, Zoe heads back to her room with odd cinematography following her until she opens the door. She walks in on Kyle and Madison having sex (Which apparently doesn’t faze Kyle at all). Appalled at the sight before her, she walks out and closes the door behind her.

Fiona is getting dressed. Axeman asks her where she is going, their escapade has simply begun. She responds that the body in the tub is going to start smelling soon. She claims to have called the police but he knows very well that she has not. He explains that they are the same and goes on to reveal that he has been watching her since she was a little girl and knows every dream, secret, and wish she’s ever had.


The Academy is bustling with students. There is a table with little girls eating breakfast when a girl begins to bully them. She knocks over their glasses of milk with her telekinetic powers. She reaches an 8 year old Fiona who prevents her milk from spilling over by using her own powers. The older witch is annoyed and tries to make Fiona spill her milk over her head. Fiona throws it at her instead. The witch is angered and pushes Fiona to the ground. As she turns to leave, a plate cabinet falls over her and crushes her.


Fiona is surprised to hear that it was he who knocked over the cabinet. He tells her that he first thought of her as the daughter he never hand and wanted to protect her. But as she grew up, he saw her become the fierce and ruthless person she is now and fell in love (Creepy!).They embrace and have a strong kiss. She slaps him and is insulted at what she claimed to be pity sex. She demands he keeps his distance and storms out of the room.

Spaulding awakens in his bed (Has no one realized that he hasn’t exactly been working?). He is tied up and discovers that he is able to speak again. Zoe explains that she found his tongue among the memorabilia she had discovered in the hidden room. It was kept in a box with Myrtle Snow’s initials. It did not decompose and remained intact because it was enchanted. While Spaulding laid unconscious, she worked a reattaching spell on the tongue and placed it back in his mouth. She wants the truth and begins to question him about Madison’s murder. He confesses that Fiona was the one to kill her. Once she had her answers, she stabs him in the chest and kills him.


“You were a shitty butler anyway.”

Delphine is cutting a ham when Queenie walks in. She asks her what the worst thing she has ever done is. Delphine is unsure about the question but Queenie explains that her mother once told her that true friends told everything to one another. Hoping at the possibility of having a friend, the Madame answers her question.


The Madame is at her estate having dinner with her husband. She comments on the return of the attending servant, Sally, after giving birth. All the while Sally is standing next to Mr. LaLaurie who has a nice handful of her rear. The Madame is unable to see this but comments that she heard that the child was of a very light color. She decides that working in the kitchen is too much for a new mother. She should instead assist her and become her new handmaiden. Later that evening, the Madame explains to Sally on the different kinds of cosmetics she has that claim to keep one’s appearance youthful. As well as how they all fail to do so. Except for one special concoction she creates herself. She asks Sally to guess what it is. Sally guesses it is blood. The Madame tells her it is and that this particular blood belonged to a newborn baby. She tells her that she knows who has been between her legs and not to bother to give her baby boy a name. The following morning, Sally had suicide by jumping off the roof and cracking her head on the pavement. They buried her with her baby.


Queenie is horrified at this story. Delphine attempts to explain that it was a different world in those days. But she is grateful to have a true friend to guide her. Queenie is simply stunned.

Fiona is in her restroom taking medications when she discovers a clump of her hair on the sink. She pulls out a hair clipper and plugs it in ready to pull a Brittney Spears. But unlike the pop artist, she stops herself from removing any of her hair. She remembers how Axeman made her feel instead.

Zoe showers to remove Spaulding’s blood. Once finished, Madison walks in and tries to convince her that she should be with Kyle. Despite of what she walked in on. Although Madison isn’t going to give him up fully since being with him was the only way she felt anything. She tells Zoe it’ll be fine since he has died before so her deadly vagina shouldn’t be a problem. Zoe is disgusted at the notion. Madison simply takes her hand and guides her into the bedroom where Kyle in sitting on the bed. Madison sits next to him and offers her hand to Zoe. Kyle imitates the motion. Zoe takes his hand and the camera pans to under the bed where we simply see feet. And a towel. And disappearing feet (Sharing is caring!).

Axeman apparently had a gig. As it finished up, he spots Fiona waiting for him. She offers to buy him a drink and he accepts.

Delphine is excited at the idea of having a new hairstyle. Queenie leads her to Marie’s dingy hair salon. Once inside, Marie and her crew surround Delphine and put her in a cage. The Queen of Voodoo offers Queenie the opportunity to be the first one to torture her and she accepts. Marie has a brush and a collection of the Madame’s blood. She begins to gently smear it on her face in the same fashion the Madame did once upon a time.


“Beautiful”-Marie Laveau


Total death count: 2, in flashbacks.

On a side note, where the heck is Nan? She definitely would’ve had a few things to say in some of the occurrences in the Academy! And are we ever going to see what a typical class is like at the Academy? They claim to be attending them yet there is next to no proof of such a thing happening.

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Bottom Line

The dead are now among us and are very sexually active.

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